She shoved a business card into my hand
Bad networking at its finest
It happened at a regional chamber event. I had gone to support a buddy who was speaking at lunch. The chamber had built into the agenda about 15 minutes for people to mill about and do a little pre-event networking as the buffet was set up.
I was already conversing with two ladies at the registration desk. I do my best work at the registration desk if I do say so myself.
We were deep in conversation when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was a small, unfamiliar hand.
Before I could react, I watched this unnamed person reach around me and magically use her other hand to shove business cards into our hands. She did it with such ease - as if she were dealing cards at a Las Vegas casino. I have no idea how it happened with such seamless motion, but her hand never left my shoulder. She just left it there, like an uncomfortable half-hug of some long-lost relative I never wanted to meet.
Like Pavlov’s dogs, my two new compadres reached into their purses and gave over their cards. It was cult-like. No pitch, no introduction, just business cards being handed over with a blank stare that felt more like an alien abduction.
In other words, it had the “TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!” vibes.
Then she pivoted, removed her hand from my shoulder, and looked me square in the eye. No smile. Seemingly impatient. Her right hand now extended like she was expecting a tip or something.
“Well?” she said.
“Well, what?” I responded. “Oh, sorry,” I gave her a high five. She was not amused.
“Aren’t you going to give me your business card?” she said.
“No,” I said.
“Why not,” she barked. “I saw you give both of these ladies a business card so I know you have one.”
“Well, that’s because they took the time to say hello and engage me in a conversation. You know, they tried to get to know me before we started sizing up each other’s cards.”
She seemed flabbergasted. Irritated even. She just turned tail and attacked the next pair directly behind us. Same approach.
It was the oddest exchange ever.
I returned to the ladies I had been conversing with, shaking my head at her abrupt and rude departure. One of them claimed she had at least three of the woman’s business cards from previously attended events for the chamber and could expect a follow-up call tomorrow.
The other lady said, “This is why I hate networking. Everyone is here to sell me something.” Her friend nodded her head in agreement.
On one hand, that is very true. People come to networking events to network. The outcome most people hope to have is identifying and hopefully engaging a potential prospect for their product or service.
In this instance, this woman works for a franchised house painting business. Her strategy of handing a card out in rapid fire to everyone without even stopping to engage in conversation is probably not what her boss had in mind when he told her to get out there and network. Or maybe it was.
Either way, it’s just bad networking.
I think there’s a big misnomer when it comes to networking. So many people think it’s about collecting business cards from other people while giving theirs away simultaneously. We’ve all seen people work a room like this and how uncomfortable it is when they set their sights on talking with you.
Networking events by nature imply that we have to come prepared for these types of situations. I get that. But what if you were determined to stand out rather than do whatever everyone else does? Perhaps your networking efforts will be rewarded by finding more engaged and fulfilling conversations.
As I left the event, the woman chased me down in the parking lot. Still determined to get my card. She said as she caught up to me at my truck, “Seriously dude, are you going to give me a card and tell me what you do?”
I turned to her and smiled. “I help people make better connections, leave better impressions and learn to help before ever attempting to sell anything.”
“So you are a consultant,” she said.
“Hmm something like that. I’ll give you my card if you promise not to call me for your services. Rather, I’d love it if you called to discuss how I can make you a way more effective networker and probably a much better salesperson.”
She laughed, “I’m sure my boss will go for that. He doesn’t even pay for these lunches. But sure, I’ll give you a call.”
I smiled and said, “Then get a new boss. Find a new company. But if I can leave you with anything, find a different approach.”
She called me two days later, oblivious to our prior exchange, and asked if I had plans to paint my house or business in the next three months and if she could come by and quote me.
Queue the FACEPALM. I know you want to.
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Oh. My. Lord.
There’s always at least one at every event. Maybe someday that’ll change.